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The Onion is surprisingly relevant to my life and STILL FUNNY   
08:36pm 15/03/2006
 
mood: cranky
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45113

true dat, true dat. With prom "coming up" in three months or so, people are starting to finalize dates already.
If someone asks you out, but you haven't gone out yet, does that make you "dating"? No. You haven't dated at all. You don't even know if you really like each other that much. Especially if your first date is planned three months in advance. You might hate each other by then. Then what happens at prom? If you can pretty much predict that the relationship will end before then, why bother labeling it "girlfriend-boyfriend" before you've even gone OUT?!?!?!

What happened to casual dating, anyways? It used to be (in my mother's time, she tells me) that a boy would just ask a girl out, and then you went, and if you enjoyed each other's company, you did it again, and if you didn't click, you didn't go out again. Now we have two options:single or going steady. I'd rather have casual dating where there's no pressure to keep up a formal relationship just because you went to the movies once. Heck, I went to the movies with a boy once, and it didn't make me his girlfriend. On the contrary, I guess he decided that we didn't click (because he never called me back). It's fine with me because I didn't have a crush on him or anything, but I think that if one's available, one should give people a chance to prove themselves, but not if one date constitutes as a relationship. It's not. It's a date. It's not super special or meaningful, I mean, you just spent a few hours together. You still barely know the other person, in my opinion (unless you've been friends for years). Besides putting this much pressure on a relationship strains it before it even starts. It's like telling an addict that he can't use for another five years. The pressure is too much, and he/she heads straight for a dealer. (This does happen in real life). Why is it wrong to just go out, even if you aren't super crazy about the person? You're not getting married. Do you really need to break up with someone who you've only gone out once with? It shouldn't be even painful. You just didn't click. Just because that one person wasn't right for you doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love. I think teenagers today take dating too seriously, like every relationship they have has to be picture-perfect like it is in the movies or it's worthless and empty. Who even said it was a relationship?

Too upset with lack of common sense with teenage dating habits to continue to rant in a way that makes sense.

Does that even make sense?
 
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Yessss   
01:26pm 04/03/2006
 
<td align="center">Your walk is:
Curiously Proper

QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
 
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OY   
07:41pm 06/11/2005
  I hate listening to people's stupid, meaningless problems.  
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Been meaning to post these for a while..   
09:13pm 25/10/2005
 
What randomly stored picture from my PC are you?

Overeating Bunny

You eat too much, your hair is bad, and you probobly have no job.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.




What are you subconsiously afraid of?

You fear bed sheets!

Your're strange!

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.




What type of dream are ya?

What type of dream are ya?

Let's find out what kind of dream you are.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.




Which LOTR hobbit are you?

Frodo

You have beautiful eyes, and a glowing sword.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.




Do we think alike?

Ah! Well, mostly.

Do you often feel as if your mind is constantly foggy and that your wiring is starting to fray? Do your thoughts follow spirals instead of straight lines? You're not alone. Come over for tea sometime.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.



You scored as Peter Pan. Your alter ego is Peter Pan. You are a child at heart. Anything you believe is possible, and you never want to grow up.

</td>

Peter Pan

88%

Ariel

81%

Donald Duck

69%

Sleeping Beauty

69%

Goofy

56%

The Beast

56%

Cinderella

50%

Snow White

50%

Cruella De Ville

38%

Pinocchio

38%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com


Warrioress
You are the Figher Femme


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ariel
you are a mermaid or merman, you do not see human's
as all that great and just want to get away
form them. you have no way of knowing what well
come, but know the sea hodl's the answer.


what mythical creature do u most represent *~*With pictures~*~
brought to you by Quizilla

 
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Click it.   
05:13am 24/10/2005
  http://www.outpimp.com/?x=481587868  
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Roads.   
07:09pm 08/10/2005
 
mood: cheerful
Where I'll go only I know
But where I am,
Lord send me a map and get me out of here.
I need to go back to the fork,
Ah, yes, food is the answer.
Continue the spcies
It's all biological
More fuel into a bigger emotional machine.
Why am I here?
I think I got stuck somewhere-
In between the many-splendored life
of a teenage girl.
Depair.
Wafting through like a foul stench.
Infecting like carbon monoxide.
Breath isn't useful anymore.
Silence.
Sleep after a long night
Convulsed in teary pain.
Morning curtains lift
I am on stage once more.
 
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Woot!!   
12:22pm 28/09/2005
  Got a 100% on my MIMIC ESSAY!!! OMG SWEET!!!  
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12:13am 12/09/2005
  I want to scream
Cry out my frustrations to you
Try to make you understand
I’m sinking in my own false memories.
Forcing myself to believe every day
That the things I daydream
Are not truth.
 
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Yes, I hate myself. GOSH!   
05:04pm 06/09/2005
 
mood: crushed
telling the truth through sarcasm is not as rewarding as breaking down and revealing everything, but for now it will have to do.
 
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11:48pm 02/09/2005
  If it festered, would you care?

WHY ISN'T ANYONE LOOKING AT ME?
 
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I can't make it stop.   
05:39pm 01/09/2005
 
mood: disappointed
fights with my sister staining my math book.
 
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03:23pm 25/08/2005
  No matter how much people want to understand me, I won't let them.

I don't want to be the predictable Jillian.

That's so condescending. I'm "predictable".

Fuck you.

Did you forsee that?
 
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10:47pm 14/08/2005
 
mood: cranky
why does no one care?
why does no one understand?
maybe it's because I don't care or understand.
maybe nobody wants to.
maybe that's all I need to survive.
when will my goliath fall?
how many rocks does it take to beat scissors?
 
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I swear it was the last time.   
07:20pm 18/07/2005
 
mood: distressed
never again never again never again again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again never again
I need it, but I don't want it.
It hurts, but I can't help it.
I never know what's wrong with me until it's too late.
 
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Think about it.   
11:45pm 26/06/2005
 
mood: contemplative
The New Jerusalem
William Blake
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?
And did the Countenance Divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among these dark Satanic Mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
Bring me my charriot of fire!

I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land.



Interesting Topic, and revealing for the times? I don't know. I thought it said something about...something. (notice he says mental fight) Not that I would ever support the Crusades, which is what one is tempted to believe this poem is about. Or perhaps it could be about that, but my understanding is that it's more about...offt, it's too late for me to care right now enough to explain it. I'll let you make up your own mind, nearly nobody. Good nights to all of you.
 
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Random Pics   
05:42pm 14/06/2005
 
mood: lonely
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Somewhere inside me there's a very strange person trying to escape.
 
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*GASP*   
09:29pm 12/06/2005
 
mood: predatory
Someone else likes apples.
SHE WILL DIE BEFORE SHE TOUCHES HIM!!!!!
 
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A DREAM by Edgar Allen Poe   
02:39pm 07/06/2005
 
mood: humbled
In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.
Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?

-----------------------------------------------------
yet more Edgar Allen Poe. *sigh* I love him.

In other news, as I was looking back today on my progress in creative writing, I'm noticing that all of my poems seem really deep, but I'd give you a hundred dollars if you could figure ou t what the actualy meaning is, because I don't even know. Geez, cryptic much?
 
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The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe (just in case you have a lot of time on your hands today)   
09:54am 06/06/2005
 
mood: impressed
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door-
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore-
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door-
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;-
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door;-
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"-
Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore-
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;-
'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and
flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed
he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door-
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door-
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no
craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore-
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door-
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered-
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown
before-
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore-
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never- nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and
door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore-
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he
hath sent thee
Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or
devil!-
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted-
On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore-
Is there- is there balm in Gilead?- tell me- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or
devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore-
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked,
upstarting-
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my
door!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the
floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted- nevermore!


-----------------------------------------------------------------
o·bei·sance ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-bsns, -b-)
n.
A gesture or movement of the body, such as a curtsy, that expresses deference or homage.
An attitude of deference or homage


be·guile ( P ) Pronunciation Key (b-gl)
tr.v. be·guiled, be·guil·ing, be·guiles
To deceive by guile; delude. See Synonyms at deceive.
To take away from by or as if by guile; cheat: a disease that has beguiled me of strength.
To distract the attention of; divert: “to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming” (Abraham Lincoln).
To pass (time) pleasantly.
To amuse or charm; delight. See Synonyms at charm.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

I LOVE Edgar Allen Poe. Just the style of his writing is is capturing and unorthodox. It really gets you into the story, gives you so much background so eloquently. In short, gorgeous.
 
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Dark Blood by Margaret Walker   
02:05pm 02/06/2005
 
mood: MOUTH IN PAIN!!!
There were bizarre beginnings in old lands for the making


of me. There were sugar sands and islands of fern and
pearl, palm jungles and stretches of a never-ending sea.
There were the wooing nights of tropical lands and the cool


discretion of flowering plains between two stalwart
hills. They nurtured my coming with wanderlust. I
sucked fevers of adventure through my veins with my
mother's milk.
Someday I shall go to the tropical lands of my birth, to the


coasts of continents and the tiny wharves of island
shores. I shall roam the Balkans and the hot lanes of
Africa and Asia. I shall stand on mountain tops and
gaze on fertile homes below.
And when I return to Mobile I shall go by the way of


Panama and Bocas del Toro to the littered streets and
the one-room shacks of my old poverty, and blazing suns
of other lands may struggle then to reconcile the pride


------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note: oral surgery is evil. It feels great, the needle feels like it's barely there, and then they start asking question like "Is that sharp?" and you think....no....WHY?!?!?! What are you poking me with?!?!?! Hey...HEY!! What are you doing with that spoon thing?!?! Is that sharp? Someone tell me if it's sharp!! And then they lay your poor tooth on the table, and you try to whisper goodbye to it without looking stupid. Realize, of course, that I had a lot of good memories with that tooth. It helped me eat. I like eating. It went everywhere with me, we did everything together, and now it's laying there with a piece of bloody tissue still attached to it and I cna't say goodbye??
I would have liked to have kept it, but no. I was too shy to ask. I hope they won't just throw it away. I'm being way too sentimental about a tooth.

BUT! Then you get home and you realize that you're hungry, so you make a ton of pudding and then realize that you can't swallow properly. I have found the true meaning of agony. Not only this, but after a few hours, the pain starts to come and it's like....well, crap. This is what was poking me. Something sharp!!!! Something really sharp!!! That makes me bleed!!! Gauze is so nasty. I mean, it just sits there. A Big wad of bloody, spitty paper just....sitting in your mouth like it owns the place. The sad part is that it actually does own the place. The gauze knows that if you remove it, you're have dry socket and that's painful. You don't like pain, do you Jillian? *shakes head* no, sir, I don't like pain. I want you to take me out, and put some more in, ok? And then I want you to sit there, trying to swalloe. *nods head* Yes, Sir...
 
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